Riding out the down days

Yesterday morning I had a real down moment. I'm definitely getting better at carrying on and looking for the bright things and the sunny moments. But yesterday was a blip. Dan was heading out cycling so Alba and I had the morning to ourselves. A prospect I don't usually find daunting. But our initial plans fell through and I suddenly felt totally lost as to what to do to fill our time. What we could do together. All I could think of was go for a coffee. That made me feel even sadder. I couldn't just nip to the park and run around on the grass, chasing her up the climbing frame and down the slide. I couldn't get the pens and paper out and do some drawing or colouring. I couldn't pull out the baking stuff and make some cupcakes together. I couldn't make a den and have a tea party, or play hide and seek with her. You get the drift. It's moments like this when the reality of the things I couldn't wait to do when I was pregnant may never happen. I do often have hope that one day we will be able to do all those things together, but for now it feels like a really long way off.

We did go out for coffee and my parents joined us, which was lovely. Then she had a super long nap and we went for a walk with friends and had dinner at the pub in the glorious evening sunshine. The day wasn't all doom and gloom, and I went to bed with my cup well and truly refilled. I've said it before and I'll say it again - this little life of ours truly is a rollercoaster, and you never know which bend is hiding the next drop.

You do you, Albs. We'll figure out how to fit in as we go 🖤